คราวที่แล้วพี่ได้นำหัวข้อเรื่อง live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment ที่น่าสนใจมาฝากกัน ไม่รู้มีน้องๆส่งงานเขียน IELTS Writing เข้ามากันบ้างไหม วันนี้พี่ขอนำเฉลยและคำแนะนำดีๆจาก IELTS Examiner มาฝากกันนะคะ ส่วนใครที่ยังไม่เคยเขียนไปดูหัวข้อ Writing คราวที่แล้วได้จากหัวข้อด้านล่างนี้เลยค่ะ
IELTS Essay : Topic Living in traditional house or modern apartment.
Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building?
Nowadays, it’s undeniable that many people, especially those who live in a city, live in a modern apartment rather than live in a local house. However, others still dream of living in a house where have which has more space than an apartment. From my point of view, as I have lived in anurban area for my whole life. I prefer to stay I n a modern apartment building.
There are several benefits of living in a modern apartment. To start with, it’s easier to clean one’s habitation. Although there are is less area in a modern apartment than in a big local house but this less smaller area can be a positive point. Especially, nowadays when many workers have to work very hard and spend most of their time in an office. As a result, they have less free time than in the past so to live in a place where which doesn’t need to be clean frequently seems to be an excellent choice.
In addition, many modern condominiums provide many facilities such as a fitness center, a swimming pool and tennis courts so many workers who are tried from their work can relax and do some exercise by using these facilities.
With respect to the safety perspective, living in a modern room tend apartment building to be more safety safer than living in a traditional house. This is due to there are being security systems, for example CCTV and security guards, to make sure nobody can come to one’s room and steal their stuffs.
With all things taken into consideration, most new generations, including myself, tend to live in a modern apartment because many facilities are provided and it also easier to live in the modern world.
(Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.0)
IELTS Examiner Comments: There are fewer mistakes compared to the other essay. However, you have to remember that the introduction must always be shorter than each of your body paragraphs. There is just one sentence in the second body paragraph. Real-world examples are also needed. Expand your ideas more.
IELTS Institute Team
