กลับมาพบกับเฉลยของคราวที่แล้วกันค่ะ ลองมาดูสิ้งที่ IELTS Examiner แก้ไขและให้คำแนะนำกันนะคะ
โจทย์คราวที่แล้ว : IELTS Writing Task 1:Meat Consumption
IELTS Writing Task 1
The given line graph illustrates how many fish, chicken, beef and lamb were eaten per person, on a weekly basis, in Europe from 1979 to 2004.
In 1979, it can be seen from the graph that beef was the consumer’s number one first choice, which accounted for almost 225 grams each week. The second highest choice was lamb, at 150 grams and closely followed by beef, being around 140 grams. Finally, fish was the least popular among these meats, with just 60 grams being consumed.
However, the amount of beef and lamb consumption experienced a dramatic decrease during the 25-year period to 100 grams and 60 grams respectively, while there was a slight declined in the consumption of fish of 20 grams, from 60 to 40 grams.
In contrast, the consumption of chicken, on the other hand, underwent a sharp rise. Firstly, it overtook that of lamb in the following year and that of beef in 1989. In 2004, the figure reached a peak of 250 grams which was almost six times greater than fish consumption.
All in all, an upward trend was pronounced solely in the consumption of chicken, whereas others suffered a fall over the featured period.
IELTS Examiner’s Comment:
This was a good task 1 response. I would put chicken first. This was the biggest trend. Try to write the biggest trend first. There were a couple of issues with articles and also make sure your figures are correct when you write them. Also review comparatives. This is very close to a band 6.5.