จากงานเขียนหัวข้อของคราวที่แล้ว ลองมาดูเฉลยจาก IELTS Examiner และคำแนะนำดีๆกันนะคะ
Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved.
Nowadays, natural disasters becomes more severe. As we can see from the general news, a number vast area of forest resources have are reduced every day. This essay will discuss why a forest resource is are in danger now, how about the repercussions, and why it needs preserving.
The main cause of this problem comes from human selfishness. People try to take advantage of forest resources to their happiness satisfy needs without respecting to the consequences. For example, humans deforest to obtain wild natural materials for their industries or unlawful selling. Moreover, they deforest for gaining a large area to build residences, agricultureal purpose or dams. The reduction of forest resources causes adverse outcomes such as wild animal extinctions and a variation of climate.
From my perspective, the forest resource is the habitat origin of creatures and a water resource. Furthermore, it has several benefits; for instance, it reduces the amount of carbon dioxide gas and increases that of oxygen gas which creates air freshness. Woods can prevent flooding damage by absorbing water. It protects soil collapse. It also adjusts the ecosystems balance. Therefore, it is necessary that we should preserve it to fulfill its abundancet benefits. Although it is inevitable to destroy forest resource in some cases, we can replant trees.
In summary, the wild resources is four has basic necessities for all and the reasons which I already mentioned above (ß No! state them). I strongly believe that if humans concern about importance of wild resources and cooperate to maintain forest resources more, our world will be better.
IELTS Band Score: 5.5
IELTS Examiner Comments: This is not a conclusion to an otherwise solid essay. Just to say that you have already mentioned the reasons is an insult to the reader and frankly a lazy response. Don’t do that on the exam! I see only present simple tenses. Where are the perfect tenses since is about cause and effect?
IELTS Institute Team