มาพบกันตามสัญญาแล้วนะคะ กับเฉลยและคำแนะนำจากหัวข้อเกี่ยวกับ Student behaviour ในตอนที่แล้ว ใครยังไม่ได้ลองเขียนสามารถเข้าไปดูได้ตามลิ้งค์ข้างล่างนี้เลยค่ะ
Reference: IELTS Essay Topic: Student behaviour
Over the past years, many schools in some nations have faced a number of problems in poor behavior of students, especially children who have not been raised with a good proper nurture. This essay will present two causes and solutions including some examples from my perspective.
The first factor of either which determines good or poor act behaviour of children is apparent from a nurture of receiving nurture from parents and family such as to instill kindness and virtue. Many parents teach their youngsters well and, as a result, they have a successful education and future career, but others who neglect their children, then they might be a in trouble in school. If parents raise their young boys and girls with warmness, love and sufficiency guidance, they will live and learn in schools with friends happily, and also they will not break laws the rules. Moreover, families having many kids should balance time to between each child and response theirs requirement equally; not take favourites; otherwise they might have a negative opinion such as envy. To solve this, those who have young juveniles should prepare right methods to teach them with appropriate punishment if they behave in wrong misbehave. For example, one of my uncles had a child who behaved got in a brawl with his friend. After teaching After being taught right from wrong, his behavior changed in the positive way, and a the result of his studyies is excellent.
Furthermore, friends and school society are also influential to youngsters. Students who are in a group of coadjutant partners motivating friends have a prosperous profile future, and they are beloved from people, whereas some who may join a delinquent group, then they will perform severe behavior likely skip school and break rules. Additionally, those who cannot keep going in their school environment may isolate from society and have a problem on sociability later on. One of solutions is teachers’ management to organize and coach them with social activities such as working reports on projects and playing sports as in groups. For instance, as I studied in high school, my teachers formulated many educational patterns set up activities to learn as in groups. The result was an effective class.
In conclusion, behavior of children can be taught and impacted by their guardians and school environment. In my opinion, the practical solutions of this issue are to encourage parents and teachers to collaborate and choose a right path to their youngsters.
Estimate IELTS BAND Score: 6.0
IELTS Examiner Comments : Your essay is well-organized and has good ideas put forward. Your conclusion is also error-free. Most of your errors are with your over-extended application of your thesaurus trying to push the envelope with vocabulary. However, overall, this essay has merit. There are just too many small grammar errors to warrant a 6.5