มาพบกันตามสัญญาแล้วนะคะ กับเฉลยและคำแนะนำจากหัวข้อเกี่ยวกับ Space travel and exploration ในตอนที่แล้ว ใครยังไม่ได้ลองเขียนสามารถเข้าไปดูได้ตามลิ้งค์ข้างล่างนี้เลยค่ะ
Reference: IELTS Writing: Space travel and exploration
Over recent derades, a lot of budgets is vast sums of funding have been spent on planetary voyages and exploration. Although some people oppositee to this campaigns such endeavours, many individuals claim that it is worthwhile running investing in such programmes. In this essay, we I will discuss on both sides of the argument before my point of view is provided.
Initially on the whole, space projects brings about many benefits on for mandkinds. First of all, new technologyical developments results from the international space voyages. For instance, satellites have improved communication system such as 3G system or video conferenceing. Another point to consider is the discovery of new places to live and for food production. As the earyhbecomes overpopulated and food shortages increase. There is a need to open up new frontiers. A good example is the Mars project. Furthermore, the human spirit has always been char acterised by the need to develop and discover. This is leading to the evolution of man and civilization as we know it today.
On the other hand, the planetary campaign exploration also causes various drawbacks. For one things, it is expensive and wastes of money. This budgets Budget set aside for this cloud be better directed into spent on other areas. The world today already has many unsolved problems such as starvation, poverty. Sickness or incurable diseases c malaria, cancer, HIVJ. The expenditure on space project should be separated to solve this dissonat issue drawn on to mitigate or even cure these. A further disadvantage is nations do not always have peaceful intentions. The competition between developed countries leads to the war. Space voyage affects ness the millitary’s effectives and develops the weapons of mass destruction of weapons.
Modern technology like stemming from planetary exploration can contributes to a higher advancement of our life quality, even though there may be a few downsides. In the final analysis, I definitely agree that the benefits of space travel and exploration outweigh the drawbacks.
Estimate IELTS BAND Score: 6.0
IELTS Examiner Comments : your essay starts off with a lot of errors (mostly tenses), You have a lot of ideas and I would suggest cutting down on ideas and developing them to a deeper level. For instance, you say weapon are created from space exploration. Give real world examples in the case and add more opinion language. Overall, well done!