Reference : IELTS Topic: Young drug abuse
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Young drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many countries. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to combat it?
Currently, drug addiction in adolescence is a critical issue in many states. There are many factors contributing to this predicament such as friends, the media and lack of parents’ attention. This essay will describe some of the factors involved with this issue, and some approaches to resolve it.
One of the main reasons for the teenage drug misuse is that the majority of juveniles imitate their friends. For instance, in a group of young drug abusers: one has to use drugs the same as other peers. Additionally, these bring about other problems like crime and robbery in the present day society. This widely affects on the future of society. Thus, friends are an important determinant.
Furthermore, media are also contributing to these problems. For example, Sek Loso is one of the famous rockers in Thailand and some youth, especially in the suburbs of Thailand, admire him. He claimed that the reason of drug misuse is to compose music that is the way of rockstars. If the youth believe and follow him, a number of young drug abusers will absolutely increase. Thus, the media has contributed to this predicament. Moreover, one more essential component which is the lack of parents’ attention. Because of family is the prime factor of the children’s behavior, almost all of the young drug abusers come from defective families.
As a consequence, necessary steps should be taken to address this issue. Primarily, the media should be controlled, particularly the entertainment industry, as it is responsible for the well-being of society. In addition, parents should be role models for children. As the proverb states: “Like father like son”.
Estimate IELTS Band Score: 5.5
IELTS Examiner’s Comments: Although you’ve added a good example in your essay, it is clear that your focus is too much on vocabulary (and using a thesaurus). Instead, work on fixing your grammar first. When the accuracy is better, the vocabulary can be the next element to improve. Rewriting this essay with the corrections and see where you went wrong. Keep trying your best.