กลับมาพบกับเฉลยของงานเขียนเกี่ยวกับโลกในคราวที่แล้วกันนะคะ ใครที่ยังไม่ได้ลองทำพี่แนะนำให้ตามไปดูได้ที่ Link ด้านล่างเลยค่ะ
Reference: IELTS Writing: Earth is being harmed
In the era of technology ical advancement, no one can deny that the innovations created by human beings brings have brought about the era of conveniences. On the other hand, the activities of human beings have also caused side-effects to the Earth, which are pollution , deforestation and exaggerated natural resources exploitation.
The first and foremost bad effects is are the pollution problems. Due to overpopulation, the consumption of the world’s resources increases drastically; to satisfy the increase of human demand, the number of industries increases according in line with the number rise of population. Consequently, much an excess of severe pollutants spills out everyday and the purity of the atmosphere is seriously reduced seriously: [blue sky and fresh air eventually seep out from the Earth] ??
Furthermore, the globalization leads to the overuse of natural resources. Most of factories tend to focus on mass productions but are never concerned how their effects to they affect the environment. To clarify, the industries tend to cut cost as much as possible. They deforestation cut down natural ecosystems and excessively exploit the natural resources without any restorations. Obviously, the shortage of food and living places habitats are unavoidable circumstances for wild-life creatures. With these reasons, the Earth will become unhealthy.
With all things taken into consideration, human beings harm the Earth in the a variety of ways such as deforestation, creating pollutions and excessive natural resources exploitation. From my point of views, decreasing the forest exploitation and increasing forest restoration are feasible ways to make a peaceable, balanced and sustainable planet.
Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.0
IELTS Examiner’s Comments: Student, you’ve only looked at half of the prompt ( ie. The negative side of human activity) You’d need to include the other view in a paragraph as well. One thing you must do on the exam is to add real examples from your life. I can’t stress that enough. You’ve done well with your grammar.