จากหัวข้อ Writing Task I คราวที่แล้วนะคะ
มาลองดูเฉลยและคำแนะนำดีๆจาก IELTS Examiner กันค่ะ
The given pie chart illustrates various factors which degraded global land, while the table provides information about their impact on certain 3 regions, namely, North America, Europe and Oceania, observed during the period of the 20th century. Figures are given in percentage. It is readily apparent that excessive feeding animals adversely affect worldwide land quality.
To begin with, 35% of land degradation was caused by over feeding animals, while forest clearance was the second significant factor with the proportion of 30%. In addition, the figure for over–cultivation is four times higher than other factors, at 25% and 7% respectively.
With emphasis on a variety of cause which had an impact on the three regions, it is clear that 28 percent of land in Europe was degraded, mainly due to forest logging. In the same period, in Oceania 13% of their land was degraded, mostly owing to over-grazing animals at the percentage of 11.3, while deforestation minimally affected its land at 1.7%. Furthermore, a minimal proportion of North America’s land had lessened its fruitfulness, mainly because of excessive farming at 3.3%; however, this cause had no effect on Oceania.
Overall, it can be seen that European land had been disturbed extensively, compared to other regions, caused largely by deforestation and too much agriculture.
Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.0
IELTS Examiner’s Comment:
This task 1 response is a very typical score on the IELTS. To improve on it, I would suggest less reliance on numbers ( i.e. percentages) and focus more on expressing the information with vocabulary that is not given. Try to rephrase as much as possible. With a little more on vocabulary, this result would score higher. Be careful with prepositions and review your mistakes.