กลับมาพบกับเฉลยงานเขียน IELTS ในส่วนที่ 2 สำหรับหัวข้อ boarding school กับ day school กันนะคะ ใครที่ยังไม่มีโอกาสลองเขียนมาส่ง ลองกลับไปดูกันได้ที่
Question: Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to a boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
At present, there are various kinds of school for parents to choose for their children. There is a tendency to believe that studying in a boarding school can offer more chances the greater chance to learn the way to live with others. In opposition to this, some argue that attending a normal regular school is the most suitable choice for children. This aessay will examine both sides of this argument and my opinion to support the latter claim will be given.
Some parents believe that supporting encouraging their kids to study in a boarding school will be better for their personal improvement. Aas we can see that from the fact that some parents do not have enough time to look after and teach their children. due to work commitments. So, this kind of school is a good option for them to entrust put their faith in. In this path, their children have to spend most of the day with their teachers and schoolmates. They can learn more in the way of living with others; their interpersonal communication skill will be automatically encouraged to improve boosted by interacting with their peers. Moreover, they are likely to be well-organized and disciplined students because they need to respect the discipline during their school time rules at all times.
Nevertheless, it could be debated that attending to a normal day school have has more benefits than a boarding school. Children will have more opportunities to experience several kinds of surroundings. The proportion of the time they spending in a day must be shared to amongst various activities. They should also have times with their families and new individuals in society. This will encourage them to know a great way to organize their time for all of their associated people acquaintances.
With all things taken into account, both kinds of school have its their own benefits. In my opinion, supporting children to attend in a day school has more advantages. They will have more chances to learn a from the real world. However, appropriated suggestion guidance from their parents must <- [modal verbs x 14 !] be provided.
(Estimate IELTS Band Score: 5.5)
IELTS Examiner Comments: There are way too many modal verbs in this essay to be valued at a band 6. Vary your tenses and show how many tenses you know. Include past tense examples and perfect tenses to emphasize cause & effect situations. As you can see, every sentence tends to repeat in your essay with a modal.
ปัญหาที่พบบ่อยอย่างหนึ่งของนักเรียนไทยซึ่งเห็นได้ชัดในงานเขียนชิ้นนี้ คือการใช้โครงสร้างประโยคเดิมซ้ำไปซ้ำมา โดยเฉพาะ modal verb structures (modal verb + root verb) ซึ่งนับเป็นโครงสร้างที่ง่าย จึงไม่สามารถแสดงความสามารถทางด้านภาษาของผู้เขียนออกมาได้อย่างเต็มที่นะคะ
IELTS Institute Team