จากงานเขียนหัวข้อของคราวที่แล้ว ลองมาดูเฉลยจาก IELTS Examiner และคำแนะนำดีๆกันนะคะ
Someone thinks that among all the energies, nuclear power should be the most suitable, but others argue that safety of making use of nuclear power is still far from satisfaction. Discuss both views and give your own pinion.
Currently, nuclear power is used for energy in many developed countries because of a lot of advantages. However, citizens in some developed countries argue to use against using nuclear power since nuclear energy may destroy the environment and impact to people’s health. This essay will discuss an arguments for both views and illustrate express my thoughts.
Many countries governments are reluctant contrast to build nuclear power plants due to following reasons. To begin with, nuclear power plants are very dangerous for workers in the plants and people who live around nuclear power stations. For example, workers who work in the plants for several years have received radiation into passing through their bodies. Consequently, they may have cancer, or radiation sickness, or genetic mutation. In addition, disasters may cause of reactor accident and radiation exposure. To illustrate, in the year 2011, there was earthquake in Japan, which caused emission of the reactors. Thus, people who lived near to the power plants had to migrate evacuate to other places. Moreover, the byproducts of the fission of uranium will remain radiation radioactive for thousands of years, so nuclear power plants should carefully dispose the byproducts away from society or else those radiations will directly affect to people as mentioned above.
On the other hand, several countries, especially, developed countries have decided to use energy from nuclear power plants to generate electricity due to many pros. Firstly, there is abundant energy which will be sufficient for the demanding of people in the future because nuclear power plants produce energy all the times and they are controlled by technology. Moreover, they do not rely on fossils fuels which may lack deplete in the future and also spent for require a long time to be burned up. As a result, fossil fuels may be deficient done away with in the future. Apart from that, nuclear power is produced by nuclear reactions in the reactor resulting in little pollution, whereas fossil fuels emissions are produced by burning. Therefore, there is a great deal of emission from burning energy plants.
With all things taken into consideration, I firmly believe that nuclear power has both outweigh pros and drawback. However, the countries which use nuclear power as the main energy should consider to a their safety and wash waste disposal management policy, otherwise they will could receive face a calamity from a nuclear power instead source.
Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.0
IELTS Examiner’s Comments:
You need to add more punctuation (commas) to keep things looking more organized. The first paragraph is better than the second because there are more tenses and a real example applied. Don’t repeat vocabulary (like “produce” ×3 in second body paragraph).