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Reference: IELTS Writing : หัวข้อ history and culture
At present, technologies have been a part of people’s daily lives. Thanks to these innovations, lives have become much easier. However, some people are of the opinion that humans are forgetting their history and culture. They suggest that wearing traditional clothes might tackle this problem. From where I stand, wearing conventional dress is not the key for this issue.
For many years that technologies have linked people from different places on earth together. Before these people knew realized it, they have absorbed other’s cultures to into their lives via these technologies. In other words, they have accepted and adapted different cultures to their lives. To illustrate, they eat international food such as steak, hamburger, sushi or drinking coffee for the breakfast which are not actually their usual food. Moreover, people nowadays tend to wear universal clothes such as t-shirt or suit rather than their traditional ones. As a result, some people believe that these are the consequences of the technologies modern living. Technologies have made us forgotten forget our history and cultures. Therefore, they suggest that wearing traditional clothing might remind citizens of their old time and conventions.
In fact, wearing a conventional outfit does not actually remind people of their past and customs. There is no use of wearing them without cognizance, for example, the waitresses in Thai restaurant or the flight attendants, they wear traditional costumes every day but nothing guarantee there is no proof that they are not forgetting their past and cultures. On the other hand, creating awareness on the history and customs by teaching citizens since they are young or holding exhibitions seem to be a better solutions as they are inculcated embrace a love of history and cultures.
With all things taken into account, we may reach the conclusion that wearing conventional clothes is not a key to make people memorize take notice of their history and cultures;, but [implanting them to understand what their ancestors have done and what have been pile up –> ?? for a long time are. raising the virtues and teachings of their ancestors is.] –> poorly worded.
Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.0
IELTS Examiner‘s Comments: It’s a shame that this conclusion was poorly stated although the message was hot lost. I feel that you do not get to the heart of this issue in this essay, but grammatically, it is solid indeed. I would add real examples from Thailand or personal experiences to support ideas.