คราวที่แล้วพี่ได้นำหัวข้อเรื่อง Live or work without Computer ที่น่าสนใจมาฝากกัน ไม่รู้มีน้องๆส่งงานเขียน IELTS Writing เข้ามากันบ้างไหม วันนี้พี่ขอนำเฉลยและคำแนะนำดีๆจาก IELTS Examiner มาฝากกันนะคะ ส่วนใครที่ยังไม่เคยเขียนไปดูหัวข้อ Writing คราวที่แล้วได้จากหัวข้อด้านล่างนี้เลยค่ะ
Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today’s world. Other feel that they are such indispensible tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. In what way are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion?
At present, some individuals believe that computers are more an obstacle than a supportive while others believe that they are necessary equipment that they could not live or work without them. Although computers make people calculate mathematicsslowly and be bad at remembering things and lazy at memorization, they are necessary tools for several workers. The computer’s benefits, from where I stand, outweigh the drawbacks absolutely.
First of all, if citizens often use computers, their brain will not practice in calculating math or remembering things. As a result, they would not be able to give the change correctly when their customers buy their products and pay them by cash. Furthermore, they may forget the lists they need to purchase such as some medicines for their parents, certain milk for their babies, and so on. Take my father as an example. His job was selling stationeriesy, and he always used his notebook for work. However, he could not remember where he had laid down the goods in on shelves. When a client ordered a dozen of files, he asked my mother from which shelf he could pick up the files even though my mother had never used the a computer. This was because she noticed his behavior all the time.
On the other hand, computers are significantly useful equipment for many business and human’s lives. Not only can children can use them for their education, but also adults can use them for their jobs. Moreover, some teenagers use computers to increase good relationship among their friends and find their soul mates. For example, my young brother uses his personal computers to share his pictures and update his status in social media websites such as Facebook every day. Sometimes, he finds a new job on online job-hunter web browsers. This makes him very happy in his work and life.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that computers are essential tools for users and their positive impacts are more than negative ones. The more people use computers, the more advantages they get.
(Estimate IELTS Band Score: 6.5)
IELTS Examiner Comments:
I question your example of your father. It does not convince me that computers are the cause of his memory loss. It could very well be his age instead. Be careful with what kind of examples you choose as they must carry some significant truth to them. In terms of grammar, this was excellent!
IELTS Institute Team