สวัสดีค่ะ วันนี้พี่ๆเอาตัวอย่างบทความ IELTS Writing Task II หัวข้อเกี่ยวกับ money spent on keeping pets ค่ะ น้องๆลองเอาไปฝึกเขียนกันดูนะคะ แล้วอย่าลืมส่งมาให้อาจารย์ตรวจบ้างค่ะ งานเขียนจะพัฒนาได้ ต้องหมั่นฝึกฝนอย่างสม่ำเสมอนะคะ
Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving. Discuss the arguments for and against keeping pets. To what extent do you agree?
At the present time, many people have pets and there are more kinds of pet available in the market than in the past. However, someone may claim that raising pets is waste of money and time. The money spent for them should be donated to the poor who can not find even their meals. From my perspective, there are both advantages and disadvantages in keeping animals. For some people, pets can bring great benefits to them. In my case, if it is not necessary, I prefer not to keep pets in my house.
Many people love to have pets because they can bring happiness to their families. For example, most of people feel relax and may show less aggressive behaviors when they have pets, especially, dogs, which most of them are friendly. Moreover, some people may need pets because of necessity. For instance, disabled people such as the blind may need a guide dog. Elderly people who live alone may need pets to reduce their loneliness. Nevertheless, the disadvantages are also obvious that there are extra costs and time for raising them. On top at that, animals can bring dangerous diseases and harm their owners. For examples, some kinds of dogs bite children because of unclear reasons. In addition, pets can disturb people in houses or their neighbors too for example when they make noises at night.
In my opinion, raising animals is suitable only for someone. As I mention above, disabled people, elderly people and some families need pets because they can fulfill the gap in their lives. However, although their advantages are great, the drawbacks of having them are also needed to be considered. The increasing risks when people keep them such as diseases, injuries and disturbances can destroy lives or relationship. Then, there are enough reasons for ordinary people including me to not have pets.
In conclusion, for most of people, there are more harm than good to raise animals but there may be an exception for someone who really need their help.
Estimate IELTS BAND : 6.0
IELTS Examiner Comments : In general this is a well balanced and logical task response with a clear opinion and progression throughout. Only the grammatical errors highlighted prevented a higher IELTS band score. Extra care needs to be taken with articles, prepositions, plurals, and subject-verb agreement.
เช่นเคยนะคะ เดี๋ยวพี่จะมาเฉลยจุดที่ผิดพลาดในส่วนไวยากรณ์ให้ค่ะ พร้อมทั้ง Estimate Band จาก IELTS Examiner ค่ะว่าได้เท่าไหร่ สำหรับน้องๆที่สถาบันสามารถขอดูฉบับ Rewrite IELTS Band 7.0-8.0 ได้เลยค่ะ